50 Funny Quotes And Sayings

Funny Quotes And Sayings-Life can be hard, no doubt. There would always be something that seems to weigh you down. Things might not go to plan and they might be hindrances on the way to success. Nevertheless, there should never be anything, no matter how daunting, that will make you lose your joy. Laughter is the best medicine, and you should use it daily to live healthy and fun.

It has been scientifically proven that happier people tend to live longer and get more out of life. Successful people are happy people. There is no doubt that happiness plays a great role in being the very best you can be. This is where funny quotes and saying come into the picture.

Funny quotes are essential as they bring comedy to the forefront of your day. You can be having one of those horrible days where nothing seems to be right. Or a day where no matter what you do, it just does not seem to be enough. Despite all of this, it is important to be able to let loose and enjoy one’s self. Funny Quotes And Sayings give you the opportunity to partake of moments of genuine delight and laughter, bringing joy and happiness.

Famous Funny Quotes

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” Dale Carnegie

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Funny Quotes About Life And Sayings

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” Albert Einstein

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Timothy Leary

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Charlie Chaplin

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” Steven Wright

“When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” Jane Wagner

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” Mark Twain

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” Elbert Hubbard

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” Steven Wright

“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”  Socrates

“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.”  Aldo Cammarota

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” Will Ferrell

“Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.” Jay Trachman

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” W. C. Fields


“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” Mark Twain

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” Steven Wright

“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”  Paula Poundstone

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.”  Dave Barry

“Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.” Dennis Miller

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”  Rodney Dangerfield

“Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.” George Lopez

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln

“Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.” Ronald Reagan

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” Mark Twain

“Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you.” Francois Rabelais

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”  Jerry Seinfeld

“There are two classes of travel first class and with children.” Robert Benchley

“Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.”  George Burns

“Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.” Mark Twain

“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” Katharine Hepburn

“Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.” Christina Aguilera

“Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.” William Shakespeare

“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” Dan Quayle

“Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.” H. L. Mencken

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” Oscar Wilde

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.”  G.K. Chesterton

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”  George Carlin

 “A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.” William Lowe Bryan

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” Fran Lebowitz

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” Kurt Vonnegut

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.”  Dorothy Parker

“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.”  Addison H. Hallock

“Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.”  Quentin Crisp

“Research tells us that fourteen out of any ten individuals like chocolate.” Sandra Boynton

 “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.” Robert Benchley

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” Jerome K. Jerome

“Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.” Leslie Nielsen

Imagine one of those moments where everything seems to be working against you and then you stumble on the funniest scene you have ever encountered. How this moment allows you to loosen up, bursting into laughter and the way it seems as though a heavy weight has been lifted off your chest making it extremely easy to keep moving on and enjoying the best of that moment.

Indeed, these quotes and saying from perky, to witty or downright hilarious can light up your day and make life seem worth living all over again.  Laughter allows you to open up your heart and allow love in, open up your mind to the possibility of new, exhilarating and exciting experiences and can make the most inconsequential moment seem like the best of them all. These quotes are powerful and unique, accentuating life and giving it the very best of meanings, adding color to moments that were once upon a time dull and dreary.

Find the Funny Quotes And Sayings for you today, find them and engage them to make the best of your day, laugh out loud and live life.